Listening and Talking Guidelines

In the journey of grief, having a safe space to share emotions and be heard can provide immense relief. Whether you’re offering support to someone who is grieving or seeking support yourself, following clear listening and talking guidelines can help create a space of empathy, understanding, and healing. These guidelines are designed to encourage compassionate, non-judgmental communication, allowing for emotional release and connection.

Listener Guidelines

Be Silent and Present. Allow the speaker to share without interruption. This is a moment for them to express their feelings without concern for rushing or being “fixed.” Hold space for whatever natural response may come up, whether that includes tears, laughter, or silence. Your presence is the most important thing you can offer.

Avoid Physical Contact. Unless requested by the speaker, refrain from offering physical contact like hugs. While well-meaning, uninvited touch can sometimes distract from the emotions the speaker needs to process. Only offer comfort through touch if the speaker directly asks for it.

Stay Engaged. Listen actively and empathetically without trying to analyze or judge the emotions being shared. Reflect back feelings when appropriate to let the speaker know they are heard, but avoid trying to offer solutions unless asked. Your role is to listen, not to fix or solve the grief.

Talker Guidelines

Take Your Time.  Feel free to take your time in sharing. Aim for around 30 minutes, but don’t rush yourself. Share what is on your heart, even if it feels difficult or unclear. This is your time to express your grief, your pain, and your truth.

Allow Emotions. Grief can be raw, and emotions can be intense. Allow yourself to cry, laugh, or feel whatever comes up as you talk. It’s okay to express yourself fully, even if it feels overwhelming. This is a safe space for those feelings.

Request Support if Desired.When you’ve finished sharing, feel free to ask for support, such as a comforting hug or kind words, if you feel it would be helpful. Your needs are important, and asking for what feels comforting can help ease the heaviness of your emotions.

Switching Roles

After sharing, switch roles to allow each person the opportunity to speak and reflect. Both the listener and the talker benefit from having space to express their emotions. This creates a balanced exchange and fosters mutual understanding and connection. Take turns sharing and listening as needed, giving each person time to be heard in a compassionate, supportive manner.