Understanding Myths

Grief myths can profoundly impact how we experience and process loss. When we internalize these myths, they can create a sense of urgency or shame, suggesting that there is a “right” way to grieve or a fixed timeline for healing. These myths may interrupt our natural grieving process, causing us to rush through emotions or suppress them altogether. As a result, we may feel guilty for not “moving on” fast enough or ashamed for expressing grief in ways that don’t align with societal expectations. The pressure to conform to these beliefs can alienate our feelings, leaving us feeling isolated and unsupported in our journey. Ultimately, these myths create barriers to healing by invalidating our unique emotional experiences and denying us the space to grieve fully.

Common Myths 

“You should be over it by now.”: Implies that grief has a set timeline and we should be done grieving once that time is passed

“Crying is a sign of weakness.”: Suggests that expressing emotions, especially through tears, is not okay or a sign of weakness.

“They’re in a better place now.”: Implies that you should be happy for your loved one’s passing, diminishing your grief or making it feel less valid.

“Time heals all wounds.”: Assumes that with time, grief will automatically fade, ignoring the fact that healing takes conscious effort and support.

Activity: Identifying Myths

Identify and Reflect on Myths You’ve Heard. List any myths about grief you’ve encountered or internalized. For each, note the personal meaning it held for you and consider how it shows up in your current grief process.

Reframe Myths. Reflect on how you might replace each myth with a belief that better supports your healing. For example, rather than “Time heals all wounds,” consider “Healing takes conscious effort, and it’s okay if it doesn’t follow a set timeline.”

Share with the Group. Discuss any insights or emotions around these myths. Sharing can help release the hold these beliefs may have and allow others to relate and offer support.

Practice

Myths:
(Write down a grief myth you’ve encountered or internalized)

Personal Meaning:
(What meaning did this myth hold for you? How did it influence your feelings about grief?)

Impact on Current Grief Process:
(How does this myth show up in your current grief experience? Does it create any pressure, guilt, or shame?)

Reframe the Myth:
(What healthier belief could replace this myth? Think of a reframe that would support your healing and honor your individual process.)