Short-Term Immediate Reaction Behaviors (STIRBs)
Short-Term Immediate Reaction Behaviors (STIRBs) are actions we take to distract ourselves from the pain and discomfort of grief. While these behaviors might offer temporary relief, they can interfere with the deeper processing of grief over time. Common STIRBs include overworking, overeating, excessive media consumption, substance use, or engaging in risky behaviors. These coping mechanisms can often be driven by grief myths, such as the belief that we “should” be over our grief by now, or that crying is a sign of weakness. By recognizing these patterns and understanding their connection to grief myths, we can begin to shift toward healthier ways of processing our emotions and finding true healing.
Examples of STIRBs Associated with Myths
“Time heals all wounds”: Engaging in distracting behaviors like binge-watching television, endlessly scrolling through social media, or keeping a busy schedule to avoid facing grief.
“You should be over it by now”: Overworking or engaging in strict dieting to regain control and avoid the vulnerability of grieving.
“Crying is a sign of weakness”: Suppressing emotions, using humor to deflect sadness, or avoiding situations that might bring up tears or painful memories.
Activity:
This activity will guide you through identifying the STIRBs you may be using to cope with grief. By recognizing how these behaviors are influenced by grief myths, you can begin to replace them with healthier coping mechanisms. By recognizing and addressing STIRBs, you begin to break the cycle of avoidance and move toward a more balanced, mindful approach to grieving. This activity encourages you to confront the discomfort of grief, process it at your own pace, and develop healthier strategies for emotional healing.
Review Grief Myths and Identify STIRBs. Reflect on the grief myths discussed in previous activities. Grief myths often activate STIRBs as a way to avoid confronting difficult emotions. Identify the STIRBs connected to these myths.
Reflect on STIRBs. Consider how each STIRB has affected your grieving process. Has this behavior helped me process my grief, or has it kept me from feeling my emotions fully? What impact has this behavior had on my emotional health in the long run?
Reframe and Replace. Choose healthier coping strategies to replace your STIRBs. For example, instead of distracting yourself with media, you might engage in journaling, physical activity, or talking to a supportive friend. Connect these new coping mechanisms to the reframed myths from the previous activity to support you in integrating and engaging in the new coping skills in your day to day life.
Share. If you’re working in a group, share your reflections and experiences. Discussing these insights can help you feel supported in your journey and offer others the opportunity to learn from your experiences.
Practice
Review Myths and Identify STIRBs.
Reflect on STIRBs.
STIRB Reflection.
How has this behavior affected my grief experience?
What impact has this behavior had?
Has it been helpful or harmful?
